The Confession of June

Greetings readers. Rise & shine. Went to bed early last night due to the lacking of sleep for the past few nights. It's been a month since I last updated my blog. I've been told by my friends that I did not update my blog for so long. Yeah, life have been terribly hectic & busy for the past one month. Both good things and bad things happened and my mood also been very much affected by both things happened in my life. It's true that I have been claiming that I would like improve on how I handle my emotions. However, it's always easily to be said than done. I always feel regret after bursting out when I'm mad. I always regret when I'm overly react when good things happened as well. Is this really life? And, I should just live my life to the fullest?

Not everyday is a good day but I have always been hoping for a better tomorrow. I was once heard a very good preaching in Singapore. The main point is about never let your anger fill you until the sun set. That means you can have your day to be screwed up with all the unwanted things to happen, and yes you have the right to be super duper mad about someone, something and etc. However, when the sun is set, everything should leave behind. It teaches us do not bring the unwanted events to the next day and it gives us one whole night to get over it. The next day, when the sun rise, it's a brand new day with new hope. I have always wanted to practice this in my life but somehow or rather found it hard to be done compare to contemplate. Perhaps, I just need more willpower.

The month of June makes me realize that leadership is really wide knowledge to be learnt & apply throughout one's life. It is not merely about speaking management when comes to the real life dealing with leadership. June awakes me that I'm not a good leader! I always think I would possess the right leadership skills because I have been trained by my father since I'm very young. I have disappointed him in handling with leadership issue for the past one month. I do not have what it takes to be a good leader and ended up making something happened that I'm absolutely feeling grief over it. I have been intensively searching for good titles of books that how a good leader should be since then and also been waiting replies from my mentor for his recommendations on books that I must get & read rapidly. Knowledge from books are just part of the guidance for me to know and it takes a lifetime to apply on it. Till now, sometimes I still cannot accept that what had happened when I sit down quietly & peacefully in the room contemplate about it. Perhaps, I never knew that this could happen.

Regarding on my academic, this semester has got only 3 papers. Burden seems to be less at first, very soon realized that it was never easy for a final year student life. It is indeed true that less papers have more free time to be spent. It requires discipline to handle your life and time. Time mismanagement would make you feel regret at the moment of waiting for the results to be announced. There's no point making resolutions and do not commit in realizing it. God only help those who help themselves first, so I do not want to be one of those people who do things that I will regret later.

Alright, time for some sharing of good news that happened end for the end of June. I'm very proud to be chosen to represent my university to go Korea for a language & culture exchange for approximately 2 weeks plus. Thank God, I was being the only one selected from my campus and one more person from PJ Campus. I admit that I am not one of those Korean drama fans, and I do not listen to Korean songs and what a coincidence that I do not like to eat Korean food as well. Ha-ha! Yes, you are right. Nothing excites me much about Korea but since there was this application for undergraduates to go Korea, I was thinking why not give it a try. I downloaded the form and filled it up. There was a need for the applicants to write a not less than 200 words essay regarding why are you interested with the program. I "accidentally" wrote a little too long until 1026 words for the submission of the application. After a week or more, I was awoke by the officers that inform me that I'm being shortlisted & need to go for interview or something. I slept very late the night before, and the officer called around 9.30am. I was very blur and cannot really recalled what she had told me. I went back to bed for about 1 minute and paused for 0.005 seconds and tell myself: Hey! you're being shortlisted to interview for Korea program! Then, only I started jumping up & down and get excited. I went through the interview and to summarize everything, I'm being selected. Words cannot express the feeling of excitement of being selected. I share this good news to my parents and they came down on the weekend to visit me. Dad's advice was must behave very well and do not lose the reputation of my university & also the country. I'm gonna work my ass off for this semester to repay my dad for sponsoring me the air-ticket to Korea. Enough said.

Life is full with ups & downs. Sometimes I wish the bad things happened had never happen.

That's so much for now and I shall blog soon. Finger crossed. :)

Cheers! God Bless.

Another Mid Year Gone

Greetings to all of you. It's the month of June in the year 2010 and it explains half a year gone and the other half of the year is starting. How have you all been? Has everything been going on smoothly? June is a new month for all of us and it is going to be a massively busy month for me. The list in the June program had been subsequently filled up & I do not know how am I going to cope with it. June, is also symbolizes a new semester had begun for me and I'm no longer a freshmen in the university but a final year student instead. One more year and I'm done with my degree qualifications. I'm looking forward for the day I graduate as too many thoughts and dreams in mind waiting to be fulfilled and achieved. I'm not those who hates to study and eagerly going out to work but my exact plan after the day I graduate shall be a small little secret that I keep it to myself and hopefully it's gonna be reveal when I'm doing it.

Looking back for the past fortnight, it was the semester break for our university. I do not enjoy the holiday given at all. Spent one week at home settling some bank stuffs and also sending my HTC for firmware upgrade and others. Spent the other week in KL for some applications in the UK embassy, doing some shopping and so-called enjoying my holiday. Results was announced and this had been the main root cause for me not enjoying my holiday before it was announced. Praise God that I had successfully pass all and although I did not achieve my target set, again, I still feel thankful that I can proceed to the final year in my university life. Holiday isn't necessary for me like I always tell my friends, I just wish life is to keep busy and keep going. I have this little thought in mind is that when people is in holiday will leads to their brain less active in thinking. This consequently will affect the sharpness of your thinking when you need your brain to think again. Well, this is my personal view point and had not been scientifically tested or proven though.

Another thing that I had been constantly doing is observing the fluctuation of the Asia Market and also Europe Market. The day the Greek debt crisis was revealed, and the Europe market was down until today it hasn't revived yet. Despite of the dropping of the exchange rates of Euro, British Pounds (GBP) was one of the highest exchange rate in FOREX for Malaysia used be at the rate of 7.00+ and it was dropped to the lowest index which is 4.61 on the 19th May 2010. Look at the gap between the two figures mentioned. Contradictorily, Asia market was not very much affected by the mess in Europe but gaining advantage on this matter. Looking at our very own country, Malaysia was also fluctuated a lot for the past 2 weeks. I, personally, think is a good sign of improvement and growth and it is definitely a benefit for us to grow our country in economic sense. May God bless Malaysia.

I'm not going to speak about what had happened for the past semester but maybe some pictures to help me do the talking. I randomly picked a few and post up here as recently I have not been taking any pictures because I did not bring the camera charger with me and the battery dies off. All these pictures were captured during presentations for the last semester. I haven't post particularly formal wear photos only and today is the first time, I supposed. Ha-ha!

Photos:

Mr. Bobby Chua, our MO lecturer

The MO presentation with merchandises :)

Mr. Raja Kumar, our CRM tutor

An easy-going and friendly tutor

Ignore the mouth that look like I'm trying to say FFFFUUUU~

LOL

Mr. Johnny Choy, our RM Tutor

Pn. Shameela, our PM lecturer

My classmates -1

My Classmates - 2

Time to stop here, today! New semester which means new challenges awaits me & I'm going to be better, stronger, and tougher this semester.

God bless You.

Adios~

Muar Oasis Bay

6.55pm!

Time to go for dinner!

Oasis Bay :)

-outside the car park-

-the path walking in to the restaurant-

-the restaurant-

-it was only us there having dinner-

Lovely!

-random 1-

-random 2-

-random 3-

-the menu-

what's up?

-ceiling-

Claypot Tau Foo

Salted Egg Chicken, Claypot Tau Foo, Rice

-Nestum Prawn-

done!

I like this picture a lot!

-before-

-after-

Note: All food are halal :D

P/S: This is my second time go to this restaurant and I previously did blog about this restaurant before but with less different picture taken and also last time I haven't got myself a camera.

Just a short update :) Be back soon!

The Journey of Life

Turning my table calendar to a new page reminds me it's stepping into the fifth month of 2010. First quarter of the year 2010 had actually past with days passed by. For my studies, it had came to an end for the semester & very soon I'll be sitting for final exam. I had been struggling a lot in handling all the emotional changes for all the pain that I underwent & had been doing well in overcoming them, I supposed. Thank God!

I constantly reviewing on my resolutions list that I had set on the end of year 2009. And, I feel relieved that I'm working on my resolutions and I must be proud to say I'm working well for the progress except for some lacking of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). For your information, people with high emotional intelligence tend to be more successful in life than those with lower Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EIQ) even if their Intelligent Quotient (IQ) is average only. Apparently, for people like me with low IQ got to depend on Emotional Intelligence to be successful in life. Therefore, never be discouraged if you are consider as low IQ person like I do.

Ironically, problems are something that we must faced as we journey along our life. It's a matter of choice: it is a thing to be solved and move ahead of the path. No one wouldn't want to stop half way while everyone is stepping forward & leaving you far behind. I spent a lot of time thinking how should I go about it when it's come to problem-solving as our education system do not pass you the knowledge of it and we have to figure it ourselves. The later you figure out, the more pain you went through, the more you will suffer & the more chances of being tripped along the path you are taking. Good luck, people! I've got mine by the way.

This semester I really did not do very well compare to all the previous ones. I cannot figure it out & I shall get it done in the semester which is on the middle of the month. This coming semester break is only half a month which make up 14 days. I've so much things to be planned on this 14 days. If you were thinking about holiday, trips, vacations and entertainment, I must say you are wrong. I've much more important things to be planned in this miserable 14 days. I'm expecting more challenges to come on the second quarter of the year 2010. Just because the year 2009 had been a fruitful one to me makes me presume everything will eventually go on well like the previous year. Oh! that's very bad, I must admit.

Let the bygone be bygone is indeed true but I must say I'm the person who will use my past as my key lessons to ensure that I do not repeat what I have did wrong. It may not be easy not to repeat your history but your past and your mistakes made who you are today and determine who you are in the future. Thus, NEVER really forget your past because my past gave me a lot of so-called life experience that I have gone through that people around me have not gone through. Be thankful that you are living in a comfort zone that is free from trouble but start worrying how are you going to deal with the things that coming to you from all times. Just because you are in a safe zone does not mean you should taking it for granted and do not challenge yourself to develop some knowledge in handle the problems in the future.

I'm about to stop here and I'm going to update again, REAL SOON.

Adios, people!

God Bless!

The Pain

Hello readers! It's been a while I had went hiatus in my own space in this cyber-world. I usually kept to a habit to blog at least twice per month on the beginning of the month and also the middle of the month, I broke the habit due to the massive workload that I underwent for the past one month. It was torturing but I think I've gone a little out of my mind.

The Pain - the title of my post with the picture attached. I'm suffering in pain that no one can understand the pain I'm undergoing.

Before I go any further, I would like to clarify that it was not the pain that I am feeling for my relationship. I'm having a blissful love life with my dear.

Pain is an unpleasant sensory & emotional experience that we human being feel whenever things do not go by the way we want it to be. I'm focusing more on the emotional & psychological side. Yes, you see people carrying a big smile where ever they go. You do not know is he undergoing some serious pain inside the heart. Neither you know how bad had he went through in the past. Each and everyone of us might filled with different kind of pain without us taking serious steps about it. Do you all really think life is full with only happiness? I knew the answer at a very young age & that makes me kind of pessimistic in the inner side.

For the previous one of a half month, it was disaster. Each and everything of what I have done didn't turn out well & that makes me extremely tough to pass all the hard times. I thought the beginning of the year was not well and it could somehow turn out better; it just went haywire in a way that is out of my expectations. There are people around who try to lend me a helping hand; sincere heartfelt gratitude to them. There are people who try to mess more things up in order to push me to even deeper to the ground, I also thank them because you people had made me stronger. Yes, it is indeed true that I would have respond to all the unpleasant circumstances in a very harsh way in the beginning, thank God I'm still able to control myself after that. I'm starting to be a little matured in handling all the objections, challenges and problems. Recently I read about a speech speaking about a very famous leader Mahatma Gandhi. It inspires me a lot.

This is the speech by Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi giving a speech on his late grandfather:

Ironically, if it hadn't been for racism and prejudice, we may not have a Gandhi. He may have been just another successful lawyer who had made a lot of money. But because of prejudice in South Africa, he was subjected to humiliation within a week of his arrival. He was thrown off a train because of the color of his skin, and it humiliated him so much that he sat on the platform of the station all night wondering what he could do to gain justice. His first response was one of anger. He was so angry that he wanted eye-for-eye justice. He wanted to respond violently to the people who humiliated him. But he stopped himself and said, "That's not right." It was not going to get him justice. It might have made him feel good for the moment, but it wasn't going to get him any justice.

The second response was to want to go back to India and live among his own people in dignity. He rules that out also. He said, "You can't run away from problems. You've got to stay and face the problems." And that's when the third response dawned on him-the response of nonviolent action. From that point onwards, he developed the philosophy of nonviolence and practiced it in his life as well as in his search for justice in South Africa. He ended up staying in that country for twenty-two years, and the he went and led the movement of India.

Last few days, it was terribly shitty for me & luckily it had passed temporary. Of course, I'm preparing there's more to come. I have thinking a lot lately exclusive of those mood-swing moments, I was relating everything together and thinking why I am here today at where I'm standing. I walked, I tripped, I fell, and now I have risen. I'm not declaring war to those who had pushed me down but I'm gonna say to everyone that even I have eye-for-eye justice, it will only made me feel good at that moment. Thus, once again credit to the speech above that makes me aware of no one can run away from problem and what is important now is how to solve the problem & look forward instead of doing unproductive things which are already happened and is out of our control. Therefore, I want all of you to be acknowledged that:

I'm evolving! :)

That's all for today, people. Cheers! I will update more, I hope. *Finger Crossed*

God Bless!

P/S: I would like to advice those who tried to push me deeper & make me fall to the subterranean of the earth, I believe in Karma. Do you? ;-)